Its been a very long time since I have updated my Livejournal. I just want everone to know that I'm still doing good, I'm livin life nd working hard. I was sworn into the US Army of the 30th of October. I will be around until Feb 24th of 2010 and than I will be shipped out to basic training for a little over 9 weeks. And than to my E.O.D training for 40 weeks and they don't plan on having me back home or to my first assignment until sometime after Feb 08 of 2011. I'm in for a long time when it comes to my training, almost a complete years worth and I'm so excited.

Let's see, I am no longer with Sarah as of early December. We finally broke up and now talk every so often and hang out ocassinally. I'm happy where I am, I am on my own. I'm living good, I work 50 hours or so a week though. But otherwise, I'm a single guy just trying to have fun. I have a loan for my car and have to pay that. I'm also looking to move into Washington again, I love the peace and uiet of Columbus Junction but I would like to be in Washington with all my old friends again. With what I'm paying for rent, I could easily have a house instead of an apartment. It would really be nice if I could do that and maybe have a friend or someone live with me or be on my own and just have a lot of space. hehe ^^;

I'm still not in school, that's on hold for awhile. If I can move to a second shift position and manage a couple of hours of college a day that would be nice. But right now, I'm just trying to make a living. So I work all the hours I can and otherwise with friends or on Xbox Live chatting with friends. Btw, rpotter1407@yahoo.com is my e-mail for my MSN account. So if you ever want to catch me, that would be the perfect opportunity. Um, yeah. I also just wish I could talk with all of you guys that still look through LJ every once and awhile. My phone # is 319-461-0220, I know Indra has it and I'm not sure about the others. But it would be nice to hear from you guys. I just started talking to Chrisseh! again recently, I miss all of you guys. I hope to catch you guys again soon. I'm looking into buying a computer from Dell or something, a labtop or desktop I'm unsure which yet. But I will probably go with a labtop.

Well catch you all later!

How's everything going?

I'm getting overworked but not underpaid, I'm getting paid more than the average worker. They are training me in a variety of different things right now and I'm not sure whether or not it's on purpose and for something better or to see what I am capable of. In this last two week, I have worked a love of fucking hours. Something around 90+ by the end of this week.

I am getting to know a lot of new things and they are just continusly moving me around. I'm more like a trainer or a utility person than anything else. I might as well be getting paid for it, because I do a lot of their jobs because when we need something we need it then. We can't wait or anything, so I have always made sure I knew where everything could be found or if it wasn't there where else would it be. So I don't have to ask for help, I do my own work and others on top of that. I'm being very helpful to others and everything, I have even stayed til as late as 6:30 PM, I start at 6:30 am now 6 or 6:15 am, to make sure everything is done and finished like it should be. My supervisors are always asking me to help someone else if I can find the time and everything. I'm just a quick learner and very fast but still produce quality product for the consumers. I don't like those who just don't care or don't even try, those people are lazy and make me sick. But none of us can always be perfect, but we can meet QA and the USDA's standards for the product and if we don't we have to do it all over again. And sometimes that can be a big pain in my ass... because I had someone who failed a combo of baby-back ribs, around 2,000 lbs of rib) and we had to go through the whole thing and have everything meet the weight. That was one of the longest days every....

Sarah and I are still broken up, she just doesn't want a relationship and I'm not pushing towards anything either. I think we are just fine being more friends again. Things are finally clearing up and going back to being good. I just worry about her signing up for too many things and that it's taking more than what she has to do it all. I'm just worried she's going to burn out and just stop doing everything. I just want to be t here to make sure she gets by fine and that's hard when she does all of this stuff to herself. All I can give her is advice and that's about the best I can do.

She's going to have some problems this year saying goodbye to a lot of her friends that she's known forever. But that's something that happens during your senior year and the only thing you can try to do is to stay in touch. But she may even end up losing contact with me and I'm one of the closest people to her and she still keeps things from me. She's afraid of my reactions or thoughts, but ae we not all the same way? Can we not except what's true and stop living by the lies of are lives? We're humans and sinners, but all sins will be forgiven if asked for. But why do so many of us not care or even ask? I'm even guilty of that on more than several occassins. But when I remember that I have done something terribly wrong, I always ask forgiveness from them and then from the lord. I am mixed with so many emoctions all the time. I just can never make up my mind and keep with what I know is right and what I'm doing that is wrong....

I am only but a human...

I'm getting myself drunk and I'm just angry. Everything just works out in the end, huh?

I'm just getting confused all over again, I don't know what to do anymore. Everything that seems so right just seems so out of place right now. What I'm used to isn't feeling normal, I need things to quit being so chaotic in my life. How can I bring order to chaos, when there is no order in chaos?

I'm looking into a new computer still! I'm thinking about heading over to some place in Iowa City and seeing if I can get one up there for cheap or I could always try Dell again.

I got my nipples pierced today, it was a very painful experience. But everyone that has seen them said I was sexy or at least all the girls. =P

I already told Jenn why, but I'm still having problems that I can't let go. I still love her and that's what hurts the most. It will be two weeks as of tomorrow and I can't stand not being able to see her or show her how much I still care. I know that by doing what she asked of me, will show that I care for what she wants to try. But she isn't the only one that had something drastically change in their lives, she doesn't even care for my feelings....

Hey everyone, how's your summer going?

Well mine has went somewhat decent. I have been working full-time now for about five months and I'm trying to go to second shift. My girlfriend already doesn't like the idea, because if I get the job on second shift. I won't be able to come to the games she's cheerleading at.

She already complains enough that we don't spend enough time together anymore, but that's because of her. She told me that she didn't want me coming over and seeing her during the week, so I could get my sleep and everything. I never liked the idea, but I told her that if she wanted me to come over all she had to do was ask.

Last night she finally revealed something I had known for a long time now. She admitted that she had feelings for another guy, someone whom she's had a crush on for a couple years now. He doesn't know or anything, but she told me that she was going to reveal it to him sometime during their senior year. How was I supposed to react to that? Even though she claims that she cares for him only as a friend? I trust her, but I know deep down that she has feelings for this guy. And it just crushed me after all that me and her have gone through in these past 16 months that we have been dating. She still has the feeling.

I know she reassured me that she only cared for him as a friend, but I want to believe her but something is telling me she just didn't want to hurt my feelings. I don't know what to do about it!

Off the topic of that, I didn't even get to see her for the fourth of July! Her mom decided at the last second to take the family up to see some relatives in Northern Iowa for a couple of days which missed a special day for the both of us. Which we had wanted to spend together. I wanted to shoot her mother, I could have killed her when Sarah told me that she woulnd't be able to spend the fourth of July with me. And she didn't even try calling me at all. ¬_¬

I just don't know what to think anymore about Sarah, everything has been reversed these past couple of weeks.

Meh, anyway. I'm going up today and spending the afternoon with my cousin Taylor. Hopefully that will take my mind off of all my worries, because we always have so much fun when I get to see her. She may be only a freshmen, but she's smarter than most of the people around my age. It's good being able to have a good conversation with her.

Btw, work blows and hours are being cut. The company is barely making any profit right now! That's why I want on second shift. I can work nights and if needed, I can help during the mornings as well. Only after a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep of course. I don't think I could handle working from 6:30 am til 12:00 am or later, lol.

I just got Kingdom Hearts II and I'm looking for the old Disaega: Hour of Darkness game to buy. Kingdom Hearts II is great, but I don't understand everything since I haven't played Kingdom Hearts or Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. But when I get the time and extra cash, I'm going to get some of these things. Also looking forward to buying all the old Final Fantasy games from Final Fantasy I til Final Fantasy XI. Though I may have to buy a couple old systems or a Gameboy SP or DS, so I can play some of the older games. I'm wanting something to do and there isn't many decent games coming out anymore. So I'm going back to the oldies for awhile until something interesting comes out or I get a brand new computer and buy an online game like World of Warcraft or something.

Anyway, I got to go pick something up to eat along the way to Mt. Vernon to see Taylor or else I'm going to forget and be sick by tomorrow. And it's an hour and a half trip, so I need something to snack on at the least. So I hope you all

Sorry guys! :(

My brother moved out at the end of April and took the computer and everything with him. I know I still get online from time to time, but I don't get too as much as I would like.

I'm going through Commencement this weekend, I'm thinking about not wearing any shows. I'm one of those people that the song "No shoes, No shirt, No problem" is refering to. =P

Sarah and I are having some problems here recently. I keep making stupid mistakes and I end up getting my head chewed off and than forgiven. I just kinda felt that we needed to spend less time together. Though I haven't officially said anything like a break, it's sorta like that. I haven't been seeing her every chance I get, I'm not going over as often and spending some time doing things I want. Mainly playing new games and recovering some old ones: Diseagia: Hour of Darkness and .hack// Quarantine. Every couple of days, I get to see all my old friends that I never usually get to see. Everyone is getting excited about graduation and I'm just waiting for it to get over with. I'm glad that I have accomplished this, I know it took me longer than normal. But at least I can say I still got my high school diploma. =P

Btw, I need to get some Prom pictures up. I know I promised people that they could see our pictures, I won't show too many Washington ones because they turned bad. But I will try and get some of the WACO pictures up!

I don't know how old this baby is, but it's really really old. It only has 4.5 GB, 267 Mhz, 192 RAM and Windows XP. But it's better than nothing, until I can get a computer of my own. My little brother Raven is standing next to me reading this and he's a complete and total homosexual. He won't get the fuck away from me and leave me alone. I told him he could get on once I get Service Pack 2 to begin downloading. I guess it's starting, but I will be back on when Sarah needs me to get online. BTW, I have a WEBCAM.